A Practice for Growing Integrity

May 5, 2016

Want a practical way to turn any tension into more integrity in your relationships?

If you watch this video, you’ll get the integrity practice that we use in all of our trainings and throughout our organization to optimize our productivity, mutual understanding, and beyond.

If you attend any of our relationship trainings (our core offerings here at the IC), you’ll learn the agreements that we set as a group to make sure we’re all playing the same game together.

I’ve received consistent feedback from community members that these agreements transmit the core principles our Integral philosophy here.  Instead of just being neat ideas, these agreements allow us to dynamically practice these values and make them real.

The first agreement that we set is the most important, since it’s the agreement about agreements–Integrity.  It sets the standard for how we relate to the rest of them.  While many organizations may hold Integrity as a core value, we actually have a practice for working with it directly.

I’ve found this practice to be so powerful, that I believe it’s revolutionary, and I want to get it out there as widely as possible.  So I when I was recently with Mark Michael Lewis, the Executive Coach and IC Collaborator who originally helped codify these agreements, I wanted to film this informal video so I could share it with you.

As Mark and I mention in the video, Mark has decided to share more about the DEAR process with you by offering this lesson from his advanced relationship program, Creating Thriving Partnerships.  You can listen to the lesson here:

Aletheia-squareInterested in diving-in and practicing with us?  Our flagship weekend training, Aletheia is coming back soon.  There’s a $200 early-bird discount available if you schedule a conversation with us here.

  • Note: if you enjoyed the Artistry audio at the bottom of this post, the second part of that audio – where I describe “The Coaching” and guide you through an exercise to apply these ideas, go here
    https://www.dropbox.com/s/uxhu3i2z02pypcf/CTP13_Exercise.mp3?dl=0

  • feet_ontheground

    I think this is a great tool.

    However other dynamics like pacing difference (speed & depth of processing experience differences) ALSO may require allowing space and time before being able to engage in the process. My daughter and I have big pacing differences that are naturally intensified during conflict. Once we were able to understand some of our differences in processing experience she trusted me to take space needed around conflict and that I would come to her once I felt read and we would discuss it. Some people though, not knowing this, believe this is creating/being distant… when in reality its about one person processing large chunks of experience more slowly and the other moving through smaller chunks more quickly. Once we took our differences into account we held a better container for each other in addressing conflict.

    And Sometimes I experience another’s ‘rules’ as not healthy for ‘me’ and I have to communicate that and be with however that may affect the relationship.

    • Cooper

      The part about understanding and handling differences with pacing is a good contribution. Thanks.

  • Cooper

    Typing mistake: “So I when I was recently with”