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An Aletheia Moment ~ Damien Bohler

JoyThere are those moments in life where, for some reason, the veils get drawn back a little and we are thrust into a deeper experience. Perhaps we are struck by seeing more of ourselves, perhaps we get a glimpse of some aspect of another person, or we see some subtle facet of reality itself. Often times we may have intuited these things and when the insight comes it’s almost like a slap on the forehead. Of course we may say, it makes so much more sense now. Once we see these things, the world seems to expand and change and with the right kind of nurturing we grow to fill this new space.

In a practice called circling these moments are fondly called Aletheia moments.

The word Aletheia is a greek word and means “the state of not being hidden; the state of being evident”. It is used to represent a disclosure or truth, that something in the background is brought into awareness.

We are incredibly complex creatures, so complex that there are many things about ourselves that we do not know or see. One of the purposes of life, for those of us with a spiritual disposition, is to discover who and what we truly are. This process seems to be facilitated by consistent work to reveal more of ourselves, to become more conscious of our inner workings and to see our own inner matrix as well as that of the reality we inhabit.

An ancient Hindu proverb states that the three greatest mysteries are “a fish unto water, a bird unto the air and a man unto himself”. This proverb states that as humans our own selves are a mystery, that in fact the way we are is so often unconscious to ourselves that it is much like water is to a fish. We are in it all the time yet never really see it for what it is.

Through many great and ancient traditions we have been handed down a variety of tools for this personal unveiling. Practices like meditation, yoga and chi kung have become widespread and accessible to all as a way of working with the personal, subjective experience. Through these practices we are presented with the opportunity for seeing more of ourselves from the inside and some form or another is highly recommended for anyone seeking to become an increasingly ‘better’ and conscious version of themselves in this life.

664774_4929008424174_1768682895_oFrom an Integral lens, however, this domain is only one facet of working with the subjective experience. These practices are about turning inwards and deepening relationship with ourselves yet we do not live in isolation and for most of us retreating to a cave or monastery to live out our lives is not a feasible option. We live in relationship with others almost all the time. Interactions with friends, family, partners and lovers, colleagues and our general community are usually part of our daily experience. Acknowledging the inevitable relationship with others there is an opportunity to practice here, with others, in relationship as a form of increasing awareness. To create deeper connections and intimacy with those in our lives and to have these connections add more to both us and them. Like the fish swimming in the water, it can’t see the medium it is moving through… yet the bird, from an outside perspective, can. It is this way with others in our lives. Many of the people closest to us can see, or with the right circumstances can begin to see, aspects of ourselves that we may not be fully aware of. When we are with them we are impacting them constantly in subtle ways, as they are to us. This is where the practice of circling comes in.

Circling can be considered as an intersubjective meditation. This means that it is not just ourselves turning into the experience, rather we are entering it through interaction. The invitation is to become more fully present, here now IN our relationship with another. Through putting our attention on the relationship as it is occurring in the moment a possibility arises to see more of ourselves, more of an other and more the space or reality that we all inhabit. Our differences and similarities are drawn out and celebrated, we become increasingly present to our shared humanity.

297178_2352529333807_1267378766_32933725_2790341_nAletheia as a weekend intensive is a deep dive into this shared space between us. Through circle after circle we are revealing and revealed. The experience of several people sitting with us, wanting to know us, allowing us to show up as we are whatever that is can be exhilarating and opening. From a participant’s perspective having an experience like this changes us in beautiful ways. Most of all we may realize that we are truly not alone.

Anything more about the weekend has to be experienced first-hand to truly know what a gift it is to enter relationship as a practice for growth and awakening.

Learn more about the Aletheia ~ Integral Relating Intensive here.

Damien BohlerAbout Damien Bohler
Damien Bohler is a nomadic soul sometimes confused and other times delighted by his existence on this strange and wonderful planet. He enjoys writing, climbing trees and being barefoot. You can read more of his stuff on his blog.

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The What & Why of Circling

We know the power of gaining new perspective on ourselves and our lives, and how circling can so powerfully deliver this experience. Listen to this recording between Decker Cunov and Michael Porcelli where they unpack how rare the kinds of experiences are that happen in circling, even though they seem so fundamentally simple.

Download Recording

The Inaugural International Circling Conference and Gathering,
The Circling Summit, is now open for registration and proposals.

From the earliest formal coursework in Circling with the Arete Experience in the San Francisco Bay Area in 1999 to the Men’s Circle on the beach, The Authentic Man Program, The Authentic Woman Experience, and Aletheia at The Integral Center in 2011, the community of Circling, Authentic Relating, and Authentic Relating Games has grown worldwide with events as far and wide as New York, D.C., Malibu, Oslo, Phenom Penh, Phoenix, Toronto, Austin, Portland, LA, and more. 2014 to date has seen more Circling-based deep-dive weekend experiential intensives worldwide than there have been weekends! We stand together near the beginning of a worldwide flourishing of our community of practice. Please join us at The Integral Center for the first gathering of these tribes at the first ever global Circling Summit, September 4-7th, 2014, Boulder Colorado.

To Co-Create This Event We Want Your Help! What should we do?

We’re in the process of curating the schedule format with presentations, workshops, panel discussions, play opportunities, and of course loads of circling with your global family! Do you want to lead one of these? If so, please see our Request for Proposals outline and submit your ideas ASAP!
Proposals for segments must be received by June 30th, 2014.

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Relationship as a Path

How do your relationships compare to your other practices?
What’s possible when we welcome the challenges that arise in our partnership as opportunities for growth?

In this conversation with Jayson Gaddis, we discuss the ways in which we can treat our relationships similarly to how we hold our personal development and spiritual practices. Since our relationships are so much a part of our daily life (what else is there?), the more we give attention to them, the more we can grow, find peace, and be of greater service to the world.

If you enjoy this recording, I recommend you check-out the video of Jayson’s recent presentation at the Integral Center here.

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The Power of Practice

I recently had a great conversation about practice with my friend and Integral mentor, Terry Patten. Terry was part of the core team at the Integral Institute that developed Integral Life Practice, which distills ancient and modern practices into an intelligent contemporary transformational lifestyle. He co-authored a book on the subject as well as leading week-long ILP workshops for years. In this conversation Terry and I discuss what practice is, how we can develop a lifestyle of practice, and the power of choosing to enact our practice even in simple conversations–as Terry demonstrates on the call. We then discuss the challenges and rewards of developing a community committed to practice and how important that is these days.
Terry will also be joining us for our New Years gathering, Scenius (think Scene plus Genius), and if you want to learn more about Terry’s work, I highly recommend hearing his recording on the 5 Spiritual Myths that Sabotage Your Conscious Evolution.

Terry Patten
Download Recording

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You Are Not Alone

A Truly Integral Space for a Community that Keeps Waking-Up and Growing-Up in Service of a Better World

Our community was started by people who care deeply about connection and relationship–as a path to better lives, and ultimately to inspiring a healthier world. It’s a radically simple view: more loving people create more loving families and neighbors, which creates more loving communities, more loving cities, and ultimately a more loving world. It may sound simple, but like most essential truths it’s not as easy as it sounds and relationship is the place where our least loving and aware tendencies get highlighted *fast*.

Why We Need Your Help

We were one and a half years into our lease when we got hit hard by the epic Colorado floods in September. The pipes in our building backed up and filled our first level (7000 square feet, half of our entire space) with toxic water and sewage. The water destroyed all the flooring, carpeting, furnishings, plumbing, boiler and other property on that level. To make things more complicated, our insurance policies denied us without even looking and forced us into a back and forth battle with no end in sight.

Become an Integral Center Angel by contributing to our flood rebuild campaign.
Click here to see our new video:
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Celebrate the New Year with iCommunity

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 4 Days of Integral Practice & Play

The Integral Center presents:
Scenius ~ The More Integral the Community…
the More Genius for the World

Join us in Integral Practice & Play for four days in the Rockies, in the company of an international blend of do-gooders, intimacy geeks, Integral nerds, a few Burning Man gypsies & all manner of community leaders!

Conscious Community =
1. The Most Potent Catalyst for Evolution OR
2. A Hugely Expensive/Distracting Drama Fest
…It all depends on how fiercely we hold Integral standards and practice them together.

We’re proud of our center in Boulder transmitting the Integral Meme to broader and broader audiences, and though we took a *major* hit this Fall as a flood destroyed half of our building and supplies, our community is emerging stronger than ever.

If you spend the New Years with us, you’ll be exploring Integral approaches to:

    • Balancing Being & Becoming, Autonomy & Communion
    • Metabolizing Conflicts into Opportunities
    • Power & Exclusivity (Integral Cliches)
    • Sexuality & Romantic Relationships
    • Generational Richness – Parenting, Eldership & Rites of Passage
    • Blending virtues of discipline & loyalty with enjoying our lives together
    • Walking a path of the ancestors while being uniquely yourself 

*Brian Eno coined the word “Scenius” to capture an extreme creativity that groups, places, or ‘scenes’ can sometimes manifest. In places like Boulder, the Integral scenius continues to develop…and it’s time again to gather the tribes.

Throughout history, small groups brought together for a common purpose generate a collective magic inclusive of each individual’s contribution, yet far greater than the sum of individual contributions they possibly could’ve created: Building 20 at MIT, Camp 4 at Yosemite, the Inklings at Oxford, Burning Man. Ken Wilber reminds us of the significant role that Salons in Europe played in the emergence of the Western enlightenment. Today intentional communities worldwide come together around spiritual, social or ecological values.

Perhaps you consider yourself part of an emerging Integral Scenius. Perhaps you’re simply passionate about fostering more loving and real community on our planet. In either case, please get yourself to the Integral Center in Boulder for this New Year’s 2014.

    • Experience our favorite interpersonal practices for fostering deep in-the-moment authenticity

    • Meet fellow integral practitioners, facilitators, and community builders from around the world

    • Harness the power of the collective through a guided series of experiences together

    • Celebrate another year of kosmic evolution

Your Hosts:

tdecker2           JeffSalzman-321

Decker Cunov, Co-Founder of The Integral Center
Diane Hamilton Musho Sensei, Two Arrows Zen
Jeff Salzman, host of the Daily Evolver, and general integral-man-about-Boulder



We will be kicking this off at 3pm, December 28th, 2013. You’re welcome to arrive as early as 2pm for registration. The evening meal break will be from 6-7:30pm. We will be completing at approximately 9:30pm that evening.

For the full-day sessions, Sunday the 29th through Tuesday the 31st, we will have morning practice sessions from 7:30-9am. We will have a breakfast hour from 9-10am with some simple food options available, including coffee and tea. (We recommend you handle your own special dietary requirements if any.) The mid-day meal break will be approximately 1:30-3pm and the evening meal break approximately 6-7:30pm. Each evening, except the 31st, will conclude at approximately 9:30pm.

On the night of the 31st you are welcome to bring 2 personal guests with you to the evening session for $15 each. This New Year’s Eve event will not be open to the general public.
You’re welcome to join us for some informal New Year’s Day relaxation and conclusion together from 11am-1pm, January 1st 2014.

Seats 1 – 20: $345 SOLD OUT!!!
Seats 21 – 40: $395
(Payments plans available)



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Sexy, Smart, and Spiritual

A Lotus Lounge Weekend for Evolving Women.
With Diane Musho Hamilton, Wah!, Alexis Shepperd, Brooke Gessay, and More.
October 10-13th, 2013

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Something Unprecedented is Happening In Boulder

The Integral movement is gaining momentum in Boulder

You’re getting this email because you’ve been involved in the Integral Center and/or Authentic World communities and we wanted to let you know what we’re up to and share our excitement about what’s happening in Boulder.

The Integral movement is based on taking the best of the world’s wisdom and applying it in our lives. Finding the truths in each of humanity’s major drives to understand the world…. Not only is it effective for creating the results you want in your life and world, it also just feels better to include as much truth as you can in your perspectives.

At the Integral Center in Boulder, we’re taking these findings, from the wisdom traditions of the east, the psychological perspectives of the west, and the discoveries of modern science and medicine, and applying them to our daily experience of community. What happens when you apply these diverse perspectives, not just in your understanding of the world, or your own personal evolution, but also in community with other people? A new depth of relationship, intimacy and connectedness becomes possible, and we’re living this experiment in Boulder right now.

We have a beautiful space, we have transformative practices, and powerful teachers and practitioners from around the world are gathering to ride the momentum.

This fall we have an incredible line up of events, and we’re calling the world Integral community to join us in developing our integrity and advancing the leading edge of consciousness. If you’ve been curious about what’s happening here in Boulder, there has never been a better time to come and be a part of it.

Fall 2013 Events

Aletheia ~ Integral Relating Intensive

October 4-6
This weekend intensive is our deep-dive in circling, the practice of integral applied to relating in the moment. It changes lives, and the excitement of its transformational capacity is the reason we’re currently thriving as a center. Come bring all of yourself in service of your wholeness and leadership in this community.

Aletheia Details

Train the Trainer – T3

Begins October 18-20th
For those that are deeply committed to waking up, growing up, and showing up. T3 is our six month circling training. Not only will you be seen for your unique gifts in a way that has you bring them more fully to the world, but you will learn how to do the same for others.

T3 Details

Lotus Lounge – Sexy, Smart, and Spiritual

October 10-13th
A committed community of gorgeous women, putting their hearts on the line for what is good, true, and beautiful. Join Diane Musho Hamilton and Integral Center teachers for this women’s Integral practice intensive.

Lotus Lounge Details

The Integral Living Room

October 31st – November 3rd
Not a seminar or conference, but a warm gathering of friends, gently facilitated to bring out the best of each of us. The integral living room is a chance to come together and engage in the integral conversation. With Terry Patten, Diane Hamilton, Jeff Salzman and special guest Ken Wilber!

Integral Living Room Details

Authentic Man Program

November 15-17th
AMP is our unique, transformational take on Mens work. Learn how you can embody presence, appreciation and integrity, bringing yourself fully as a man, and igniting your whole life, including your relationships with women.

AMP Details

So that’s the line up. Add to that daily meditation, and yoga and circling classes throughout the week, so if you decided to come for more than a weekend, there are plenty of ways to plug in.

There has never been such a density of integral consciousness and transformation in history as is coming to Boulder this fall, and we want you here!

With love and inspiration,
The Integral Center team.

PS. In case all this wasn’t enough, we’re also having a New Years Eve Integral Celebration. Details still to be confirmed, but we encourage you to save the date (December 28th-31st) and come ring in the new year with us while we practice, play, and evolve the template of how we thrive with a more Integral Community.

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Game Night

Our Intimacy and Authentic Relating Games evenings explore the frontiers of highly personal & interactive experience.

A core part of The Integral Center’s “Conscious Nightlife” series, these events are:
– Great opportunities for Intentional Socializing with fellow do-gooder’s, consciousness geeks, curious experimenters & generally adventurous souls.
– Safe places for taking risks, playing a little more outside the box, and discovering more of ourselves than we might in our everyday lives.

Men, women & couples are all welcome to enjoy an evening with us while cultivating a deeper understanding of yourselves and what’s possible in your relationships.

While we sometimes host family or kid-oriented evenings, our regularly scheduled game nights are for adults only (18yrs+).

Game Nights are on alternating Tuesday evenings at The Integral Center in Boulder.
Check the calendar for upcoming Game Nights.

Time: 7-9pm

Give yourself extra time so you can find parking and be here with us ready to start at 7pm sharp.

Free for members of The Integral Center
$20 at the door / $30 for two people

The Integral Center
2805 Broadway St.

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The Integral Worldview

  • Integral begins with a recognition that we are evolving through growth stages in individual consciousness and culture.
  • Each of these stages has something important to offer: a dignity, insight and capacity, which shines most brightly when combined, or integrated, with the dignity, insights and capacities of other stages.
  • This integration creates more than the sum if its parts, giving rise to new emergent capabilities.
  • These capabilities include the ability to harmonize previously conflicting perspectives and worldviews and to see and enact solutions that have not been seen or tried before.

The Integral worldview is an emerging public philosophical agreement, and a new way of being human. Integral is used by individuals who can see and appreciate all other worldviews. These people find ways to take the best of these views and harmonize them into coherent social structures that point the way to what is worth doing in fields as diverse as religion, politics, business and personal transformation. Integralists are keen on the development of strategies to effect change in people, institutions and culture. Integral adherents believe that an emerging combination of theory and skillful means will have far- ranging effects similar to those experienced by humankind through the philosophy of the western enlightenment, which emerged as pubic philosophical agreement about 300 years ago. The Enlightenment provided an intellectual foundation which changed the world forever, out of which arose fundamental pillars of our current world including Democracy, individual rights, liberal arts education, religious freedoms, and free enterprise just to name a few. Integralists believe that Integral philosophy, theory and practice is poised to create a similar shift in the evolution of human consciousness, which will provide better solutions to many of the most pressing problems confronted by humanity today.

Some Core Values of the Integral Worldview.

  1. Supporting the ongoing evolution of all human beings.
  2. Confidence in the potential of evolutionary and developmental philosophy.
  3. Appreciation of natural growth hierarchies.
  4. Low antibodies to change and willingness to engage in the process of change.
  5. Realization that truth is fixed only at a given state and stage of human development.
  6. Harmonization of previously conflicting world views: Science and Religion, Ascending and Descending paths of Spirituality, Interior and exterior.
  7. Personal responsibility that is solution- oriented. No deconstruction without a new solution. We “criticize by creating”.
  8. The return (in their healthy forms) of parts of consciousness and culture that have been cut off, through processes like shadow work.
  9. The ability to find a functional fit for the situation, something that works- without absolutes.
  10. Metabolizing the whole spiral of developmental stages through the ability to see the entire spiral and to digest and use all the insights and tools of all ways of being human.
  11. A flex flow approach to problem solving, more than one right answer.
  12. Seeing all reality as arising in four quadrants with four primary perspectives, Subjective (individual interior) Intersubjective, (collective interior) Interobjective (collective exterior); Behavioral. Individual exterior).
  13. Useful orienting generalizations given to the world: States and Stages; the Pre-trans Fallacy; AQAL model, (quadrants, levels, lines, states and types). Level/ line pathologies, etc.
  14. Opening into the highest states and stages available- aspiring to the place beyond current conceptions of the self that is revealed in the “spiritual experience” and operation from that state and evolutionary stage.
    Practice, Practice, Practice.

Learn More:

AQALMapDetail-300x204A Primer on Integral Theory by Boulder Integral Founder Jeff Salzman

What is the Integral Movement?
By Corey deVos and Integral Life

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Updates for Week of April 15th, 2013

Featured Events:

Family Constellations Presentation & Experiential w/Jack Blackwell
Tuesday April 16th, 6:30-9:30pm Middle Room
Experience the power of ancestral healing to transform your relationships and your life!
Family Constellations work accelerates your personal healing process by gently uncovering what needs to change in order for you to experience optimal well-being.

Boulder Men’s Experience 17 – Thursday April 18th, 7-9:45pm
The BME is a monthly gathering for conscious men who want to connect, offer and receive support, stretch into our edges, have fun, and honor each other as men.

Spiral Dynamics Integral – Applications and Advanced Study with Don Beck
This is a last-minute scheduled, special gathering with Don!
Monday April 22nd, 7pm – Chapel Room
Livestream and Facebook links coming soon!

New Yoga Class on Monday evenings starting April 29th
Classical Hatha Yoga with Deborah McNamara, Mondays 7-8:15pm in the Meditation Hall.
Deborah’s classes offer the opportunity to practice the art of mindfully synchronizing bodily movement with the breath. Students are invited to work with principles of alignment – both structural as well as the aligning of intention with action and movement: invoking the practice of moving in the world with embodied grace, integrity, clarity, and openness. Classes invite a heart-filled, full bodied participation – where rest, surrender and nourishment can take root.

Integral Relationships With Martin Ucik and Fabienne Meuleman
Introduction, Friday, April 26, 7-10pm (Chapel)
Workshop Saturday and Sunday April 27-28th
The Integral relationship approach is a meta-model that integrates the wisdom from 200+ relationship books and places them into Ken Wilber’s AQAL Model. The Integral knowledge and over 20 experiential workshop exercises allow you to embody the model so that you can heal, learn and grow with your partner in a co-created, sustainable love relationship.
Livestream Link for Intro evening:

Game Night – Tuesday April 30th, 7-9pm, Chapel Room
Our Intimacy and Authentic Relating Games evenings explore the frontiers of highly personal & interactive experience.

The Daily Evolver with Jeff Salzman, Monday May 13th 7-9pm, Chapel Room
An Integral Look at Current Events
Always Livestreamed:

Singing Silence w/ Bret Isom, Wednesday, May 15, 7pm, Chapel Room
Bret doesn’t just perform, he delivers a powerful transmission that is always unique and frequently transformative.  Join us for this special evening with Bret.

Aletheia ~ Integral Relating Intensive – July 5-7th
If you haven’t attended our flagship circling intensive, this is your next chance!
Also, if you have friends in Europe, let them know about our inaugural Europe Aletheia in Amsterdam, May 3-5th.

Luminous Body Level 1 Program starting at The Integral Center
Module 1 – July 25th-28th
Luminous Body is an educational institute dedicated to empowering people to transform their limiting life patterns, uncover their gifts, align to their life purpose, develop energetic healing skills and cultivate a luminous awareness that brings greater clarity and compassion into the world.  Those who attend the Luminous Body program get clear reflection on the personal patterns that are disrupting their lives, tools to transform these patterns, training in energetic awareness and the transmission of powerful healing skills.  Students who have attended the program report a dramatic shift in how they experience themselves and the world.
More info:

Ongoing (Monthly, Weekly, Daily)

-Monday-Friday, 7am-8:20am, Dragon Heart Sanga – Daily Zazen, Meditation Room
-Mondays, 9:15am, Kundalini Yoga w/ Meredith McNown, Meditation Room
-Mondays/Wednesdays, 12-3pm, Circling Lab with Jason Basgall, Chapel Room
-Mondays, 5:30pm, iRest Yoga Nidra w/ Ren Resch, Meditation Room
-Mondays (Starting April 29th), 7pm-8:15pm, Classical Hatha Yoga with Deborah McNamara, Meditation Room
-Tuesdays, 9-10:30am, Authentic Embodiment Lab w/ Jennifer Peck, Meditation Room
-Tuesdays, 10:00am-2pm, Energy Healing Clinic, Downstairs Coaching Area
-Tuesdays, 12:15pm, Yoga of Union w/ Aditi Devi and Justine Sanchez, Meditation Room
-Tuesdays, 5:15-6:15pm Breema Bodywork w/ Jamie, Meditation Room
-Tuesdays/Thursdays, 5-6:30pm, Hollow Bones Kung Fu with Keith Martin Smith
-Wednesdays 3:45-5:45pm, Integral Vision Tribe, w/Maura Lohrentz for 12-18yr-olds, Meditation Room
-Wednesdays, 6-9pm, Jingui Golden Shield Qi Gong with David Moore, Meditation Room
-Thursdays, 4:15pm, Invitation to Meditation w/ Aditi Devi, Meditation Room
-Thursdays, 5:30pm-6:45pm, Acrofusion w/ Cassie Drew & Ryan Hamity, Middle Room
-Thursdays, 7:00pm-9:00pm, Capoeira w/ Melissa Thomas, Middle Room
-Fridays, 1:30pm – 4pm, Women’s Circling – Living Room Style w/ Sundara Blair, Salon
-Fridays, 5:30-6:45pm, The Yogas of Kali w/ Aditi Devi, Meditation Room

Also, you can always visit the Weekly Updates page on the Integral Center website as well:
or the calendar:

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Whitelisting Instructions

You’ll need to whitelist our email address to ensure you receive updates from us regarding our updates or your membership!

Follow These Instructions for Gmail:

1. In your inbox, locate an email from info@integralcenter.org (ex. your welcome mail when you subscribed to our newsletter).
2. Drag this email to the “primary” tab of your inbox.










3. You’ll see that our emails will go to your primary folder in the future!

For other email service providers (Yahoo, AOL, etc.) please add us as a contact in your address book. Further instructions can be found here.

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A Confession About My Relationship

by Shana James of the Authentic Woman Experience (AWE)

There’s something I (Shana) want to get off my chest. After I share it I don’t know what you’ll think of me. You may trust me less. You may think I shouldn’t teach dating and relationship courses. Or you may trust me more. I really don’t know.

I’m going to take a risk because I keep finding that if I don’t risk, I live in fear of what might happen. I feel half alive. I don’t know whether others like me for who I really am.

When I risk, especially when I’m scared, I discover whether I can be more connected with people. And others share their vulnerable truths with me, which makes life so much more rich and fun!

So here it is, the confession:

My husband and I don’t have an easy relationship. We don’t have one of those relationships where we are always sweet to each other, where we agree on everything and never fight.

We are each passionate and stubborn in our own ways. We are wounded from our childhoods. We are scared to show parts of ourselves. We can be manipulative or harsh without meaning to be. We sometimes feel ashamed of our desires and lash out to protect that.

At times we’re each afraid we have to “get it right,” and then feel uninspired to get “it” at all. We have days when we feel deeply in love and days when we wonder if we’re a good match.

Phew! There it is. The truth.

A deep breath. It actually feels like a relief to let you know. I’m tired of being careful, of thinking I need to paint a picture of a perfect relationship to the world so I’ll be trusted.

I’m not perfect. Neither is my relationship. A part of me knows this is a good thing. I’m more in tune with the difficulties of love and relationship. But I still feel scared you’ll judge me. And I’m learning to be okay with that.

I haven’t chosen the easy path. My relationship is even more complex because I look under every “stone,” to move through any blocks in our intimacy. I want to stay true to myself and live fully. I want my husband to do the same.

It’s painful to watch the facade of relationship I often see couples engage in. I’ve coached couples who haven’t paused to look into each others’ eyes for a long time, who no longer appreciate each other, who don’t ask questions to evoke each other’s hearts and dreams.

I don’t write this to judge. My bar for intimacy is really high. And I’d love for yours to be too. Because then you can have love that lights you up and inspires you.

When you light yourself up from the inside and stay connected to your truth…When you uncover the wounds and shame that cause you to lash out or pull away…that’s when love is real. That’s when relationship lasts, rather than falls apart.

So, this year I don’t have empty promises. I can’t guarantee you’ll live happily ever after with the love of your life. But I do know that you, like other women who have worked with us, can call a caliber of men into your life that you may not know even exists! You can be treated with more respect and adoration by men than you ever knew was possible.

You can find men who are emotionally available, and inspire them to open up even more with you. You can have dates that rock your world. You can have men come closer, rather than walk away. You can have passionate, connected sex. You can make peace with “neediness” and create a life you love.

You can create relationships with women that are honest and profoundly supportive. You can be loved for who you truly are, by more people than you imagined being loved by.You can fall deeply in love with yourself and trust yourself!

This year I will continue to explore how to live in the most alive, in-love, authentic, passionate, undefended way. I will continue to walk through fear and shame, to where love resides. I will speak my truth more often and choose what I really want, rather than what may make me look good or be desirable.

I will be transparent, even if I think something makes me look stupid or inadequate. I will share my emotions even if I’m afraid to be seen as overly emotional or high maintenance. I will be me, even though I may no longer be wanted!

I invite you to join me. What do you want to create?
What do you want to let go of?
What parts of your humanness and imperfection do you want to celebrate?

If you want more, please join us for our first AWE intensive
in Boulder, CO: http://integralcenter.org/authentic-woman-experience/

With love and honesty,

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