Golden Eyes – The Moral Obligation for Integral Relating

In this #Enactment episode with author, group facilitator, and meditation instructor, Dustin DiPerna — Robert asks Dustin to share some of the critical distinctions from his recently published book on Integral spirituality: Streams of Wisdom.  They also discuss the very (almost frighteningly) similar themes in building Integral practice communities (Robert in Boulder, Dustin in San Francisco).  Both communities developed relational practices, Integral Circling and We-Practice respectively, and learned lessons about the importance of having a shared theoretical context.

Specific Points that Dustin Addresses:

  • The 3 Core Practices for an Integral Community
  • What is (Integral) Spirituality?
  • The Importance of a Shared Theoretical Context in a Community of Practice
  • Vantage Points of Awareness or “State-Stages”
  • Instant Enactment Practice: “Golden Eyes” for enacting greater possibilities in our communities

Since there are so many important gems in this recording, I pulled out smaller sections so that I could make sure you’d have easy access to this material.  Listen to the full interview if you can, but definitely get the “Golden Eyes” practice if nothing more (at the bottom of the page) — I want everyone to have this powerful orientation.

The Complete Interview (52 min)

Dustin and Robert reminisce about the days working with each other at the Integral Institute and the powerful trans-lineage spiritual gatherings hosted by Ken Wilber.

The 3 Core Practices for an Integral Practice Community (4 min)

Dustin describes what he believes are the 3 core practices any Integral community should engage in:
– 1st person contemplative practices, like meditation
– 2nd person Relational practices, like Integral Circling or “We-Practice”
– 3rd person Educational/Theoretical practices, making various topics the subject of discussion

What is (Integral) Spirituality? (2 min)

What do we mean when we say “Spirituality”?
Dustin articulates a succinct and compelling definition based on the Integral framework.  Teasing apart “Exoteric” forms of religion from “Esoteric” historical traditions and practices we get a picture of what’s most relevant for our needs today.

The Importance of a Shared Theoretical Context in a Community of Practice (4 min)

Robert and Dustin discuss how different people have different preferences and biases for particular kinds of practices (such as relational over contemplative), but having a shared theoretical framework provides the “subtle architecture upon which the whole community can thrive” according to Dustin.

Coming Home: Vantage Points of Awareness (8 min)

Dustin shares a critical distinction that can assuage much of the challenge of the spiritual practice path. Dustin walks us through the kinds of experiences we can have while developing a contemplative practice (states), and more importantly, the levels of how we relate to these experiences. Understanding this distinction and developing our “Vantage Point” allows us to find our restful “home” and not always be seeking the peek-state experience high.

Golden Eyes: The Moral Obligation for Integral Relating (3 min)

For our #InstantEnactment practice, Dustin shares this practice called “Golden Eyes” that he received from Ken Wilber. It involves engaging with anyone and everyone you meet as if they are more developed and awake than yourself. Whether it’s true or not, by holding them in a higher light, we enable them to be that way in our eyes — which by itself enacts greater possibilities.

 

Dustin DiPernaDustin DiPerna is founder of Bright Alliance and Co-Founder of Synergy Forum  He is an author, group facilitator, and meditation instructor. Dustin received a Bachelor of Science degree from Cornell University and a Master of Liberal Arts degree in Religion from Harvard University. He is author of two books: The Coming Waves and Streams of Wisdom. In addition to being an internationally recognized expert in the field of Integral Theory, Dustin practices in the spiritual lineages of Mahamudra and Dzogchen. He lives in California with his wife, Amanda, and daughter, Jaya.

 

 

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Connection Roadmap: The 3 Levels of Conversation

 

INTRODUCTION

Whether experiencing connections full of love and joy, or navigating challenging interactions, if you’re like me, you’ve found relating with other people one of the most dynamic, rewarding areas of life:

  • A loved one’s eyes light up with gratitude for finally feeling appreciated for their unique contribution (essence?)…
  • A deep sigh of relief from letting go of a limiting self-image we’ve been carrying for years…
  • A flood of warmth in our chests as our heart opens when someone reveals themselves vulnerably…
  • Raw, edgy excitement as we reveal our truth, free from fear of what others might think…
  • Peals of laughter pouring out as we share in a taboo, private joke between us…
  • A profound sense of oneness with another as we connect, experiencing any sense of separateness dissolve between us…

Yet, if you’re like most people, then these experiences are often few & far between…or just happen by sheer grace.

What we’ve found is that learning and applying even just a few simple distinctions & tools, you can begin to enjoy richer and deeper connections in all your interactions.

Connection Roadmap:  The 3 Levels of Conversation

Back in my mid-20′s, for a brief period, I declared my own private war on “small talk”.  I was tired of mundane, superficial conversations, and I wanted to cut straight to deep, meaningful interactions – to the good stuff!

During that time, I used to walk up to people I’d never met on the BART train station platform in San Francisco and ask them, “So, what are YOU passionate about?”

Well, as you might imagine, people looked at me like this:

Eventually I realized what might already seem obvious to you —  that there’s a natural unfolding to a conversation, and when we follow that, it makes way for new levels of connection to emerge.

But for me, because I’m sort of a geek about this stuff now, I’ve broken down these stages of unfolding into what I call the “Levels of Conversation”.

We’ve all had that intuition that we could be having a juicier, more rewarding conversation, but like a combination lock, we aren’t quite sure what the code is to unlock that deeper level of connection, intimacy, play, excitement…whatever it is that we’re looking for.

You’ve Always Had a Hunch Things Could Be Richer, Deeper…

Have you ever been out on a date, at a dinner party, with a coworker or family member, and had a nagging intuition that you could be having a more rewarding, dynamic interaction…

Maybe you realized this in an awkward lull  in the conversation, between topics…

…or noticing that you were tuning them out, because it seemed like neither of you were truly interested in the topic…

…or  perhaps even  more sobering, you noticed that YOU were the one filling the silence with idle chatter, “full of sound and fury, signifying nothing”

While I see nothing wrong with small talk, what seems to be in more short supply (and what people who find our work are looking for) is rich connection.  So…

How can we guide an interaction into a place where it’s truly NOURISHING for both of us?

First, Acknowledge What Level You’re At –

What kind of conversations do you typically find yourself in?

Level 1: Informational – simply a data exchange– no real intimacy, though you may find coincidences or overlapping circles of friends, interests, or background.

Level 2: Emotional/Personal — sharing about our thoughts, feelings, desires — our internal experience (a “deep connection”).

Level 3: Relational — engaging about what’s happening *right now*, in the moment, between us – it’s the most dynamic, rarest, my favorite, and the main focus of this guide…

We’ll go into more detail on each one:

 

LEVEL 1: INFORMATIONAL

At this level, it’s just the facts, ma’am.  Great for a police report, not so great for deep connection.  Also known as “wide rapport”, because at this level the conversation is flat and wide.

Informational Conversation Examples

Nice weather we’re having.   
Yes, It’s going to be up to 60 degrees today, but I heard it’s going to snow tomorrow.

Where’d you grow up?
I grew up in Georgia, but I’ve lived most of my adult life in New York.

Do you have any siblings?
I’m the eldest of 3 kids.

What do you like to do for fun?
Gardening and dancing, mostly.

What do you do for a living?
I’m an aerospace engineer with JetBlue.

This is the way most people talk, most of the time.

Benefits of This Level

Communicating at this level is good for “getting a feel” for someone, because even as we may be having a conversation about the weather, we’re picking up all other kinds of information about that person through their nonverbals, their voice tonality, eye contact, etc…

So even if the content of the conversation is relatively superficial, there are still WORLDS happening that you can tune into for more richness at any point…

Let’s move on to the next level…

LEVEL 2: PERSONAL/EMOTIONAL

At this level, we’re sharing our interior, subjective experience… emotions and personal preferences.

Personal/Emotional Conversation Examples

Which season is your favorite?
Oh, the winter, I feel a thrill whenever I see the first snow of the year.

How does your Southern country upbringing influence you now that you’re an adult here in New York?
Hmm,  I imagine it’s made me more friendly and trusting, despite being in such an urban environment…

What do you like most about working at JetBlue?
Well, I love adventure and traveling…and this really gives me the freedom to do that. 

What’s something you really appreciate about your brother?
I think maybe it’s his rascally, mischievous nature.  Even when he goes too far and  pisses me off, I still privately envy how clever he is.

What’s something that your heart can’t help but open to?
Hmmm…Animals definitely open my heart… dogs, especially– I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through childhood without my dog…

At this level, potentially sensitive topics could come up, and strong listening skills can be important here…major opportunities for healing and clearing away shame emerge as we  vulnerably share our experience in safe place…

 Practices That Can Take You to the Personal/Emotional Level

  • Genuine Curiosity
  • Offer Reflection
  • Share Vulnerably
        (articles on these skills will be sent to you via e-mail in the coming weeks)

Ok, let’s move on to the level we most love to play at here at the Integral Center…

LEVEL 3: RELATIONAL

This is the stage at which you move from talking ABOUT stuff, and focusing more on what’s happening between the two of you, right now, in the moment.

This is also where the feedback and reflection essential for transformation and growth happens.  Usually the biggest jump from being a nice conversation to being arewarding experience, is the jump from the Informational or Personal level…to RELATIONAL.  YES!!

It’s where we at the Integral Center love to play most, and also forms the foundation of our infamous Circling practice.

Examples of Relational Conversation

I’m noticing I’m feeling giddy talking to you right now – I’m so excited to be connecting with you.

I just felt confused and hurt when you said that my mom was never friendly to you.  

When you laughed just then, I could hear your ‘Southern Belle’ coming through…I feel drawn to you when you do that. 


I notice I feel myself tighten every time you complain about your boss. It seems like you have no intention of actually addressing the situation with him. Is that true?


As you were talking, I just had a flash of us taking a trip to go showshoeing in the Rockies to one of those ski cabins for the weekend…


Hearing how you’ve finagled your way into management, I’m getting how crafty you are.  I’m gonna have to watch myself around you!


I notice my heart’s swelling and I’m feeling a lot closer to you when you talk about how supportive your brother has been for you over the years.

Sharing at this level can be intensely vulnerable, but it’s also where a conversation goes from being an exchange of ideas or experiences, to co-creating an experience, in the moment…

I’ve found that Relational Conversations can accelerate self-awareness, evolve our consciousness, and rapidly deepen connection and intimacy.

Level 3 In A Community…

Sharing at the relational level is THE shift towards creating Authentic Community.

This is the type of community that radically evolved me personally and relationally.

Personal development and transformation of consciousness accelerates DRAMATICALLY, as we offer feedback and reflection to each other, in the moment, about how we’re experiencing and impacting each other.  When this is woven into the culture of a community, this is a true transformational Sangha.

That said, this is also the level where things get tricky.  As we put attention on serving each other through feedback and reflection, it becomes a rich breeding ground for projecting our disowned aspects (aka shadow) onto each other in service of “being real”, etc…

Example of projection vs owning your experience:

I feel like you’re suppressing your anger right now  vs
When you say you’re not upset, I notice tension in me, and I don’t fully believe you.

You need to tell the truth to the people in your life vs
I feel frustrated that you haven’t had a conversation with that person yet.

Practices That Can Take You to the Relational Level

  • Speak the Moment
  • Own a Desire
  • Share Impact
  • Offer Reflection 
  • Set Context

————————————————————————————————–

So, those are what I call the 3 Levels of Conversation — Informational, Personal/Emotional, and Relational.   By getting clear about what level of conversation we’re operating at, and being aware of other types of conversations we COULD be having, new possibilities open up, and we can see other places that we could go, other adventures to explore.

A FEW DISCLAIMERS

1. This Isn’t Meant As a Rigorous Philosophical Framework

We could probably distinguish infinite types of conversations (not just 3), and multiple levels operating at any moment, given the nature of sub-communication, non-verbals, and body language that are all happening simultaneously… For example, banter and flirting are other types of conversation that aren’t covered in this guide…

Maybe this guide should be called, “3 Levels of Deep Connection”, since the real focus of this particular guide is on specifically that: Deep Connection.  That said, it should be noted that…

2. Conversations Don’t Always Have To Be Transformational or Deep To Be Rewarding

Great conversation isn’t about “going as deep as possible”.  It’s about celebrating EVERY stage of the conversation for exactly what it is , while OWNING your desire to take it deeper, if, in fact that is the case for you!

I, for one, am often just as content to enjoy casual silly banter, than have some deep, eye-gazing Tantric connection.  Enjoy all the flavors for what they are!

When we get fixated on only having “meaningful conversations”, I’ve found things get over-processy and sticky. Give your deep, personal conversations and “relational experiences” some breathing room!

Finally…

3. Beware of Getting Fixated on What Level Conversation You’re In…

This is one of those guides that it’s best to read it, than forget it all…let it fall into the background.  One of the surest ways to kill a great conversation or deep connection is to keep checking in the moment, “What level of conversation are we at?  Ok, how about…now?”

Ideally, this has helped shed some light on your personal tendencies, and given you some pointers to look out for the next time you’re in conversation with someone and you want to take it deeper.

Invitation: Share Your Story Here!

One of the best things you can do to have richer, more rewarding conversations, is to go back over them in your mind.  This will reinforce what was nourishing for you about them.  I invite you to share in the comments below a story/example of a particularly rewarding conversation you had — feel free to include the dialogue if you like — and identify what about the interaction was most rewarding for you — bonus points if it was a level 3, Relational conversation!

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What is “Circling”?

Circling (also known as InterSubjective Meditation) is an organic, in-the-moment interpersonal process that’s equal parts art form, meditation, and group conversation — all designed to allow a visceral experience of connection and understanding of another person’s world, celebrating who and where they are right now. It’s practicing using our genuine curiosity to better understand and become a connoisseur of another person’s world though present moment awareness while breaking through the assumptions and projections we have about each other.

Different than sitting on a meditation cushion by yourself, Circling is a relational practice.  And though it works exquisitely in intimate relationships of all kinds, it can be applied in ALL areas of life because it’s so organic, non-analytical, effective, and fun.

Q: What exactly is the purpose of Circling?

The purpose of Circling is twofold:

1. Circling uncovers our “relational blind spots”—the places where we push away the depth of connection and intimacy that’s possible, whether we’re:

  • In relationship and want to deepen with our partner…
  • Single, and looking to attract someone to explore deeper connection with…
  • Looking for deeper connection with ANYONE—family, friends, prospective clients…

Through this fresh, direct-experience, in-the-moment process, we have more choice about how we respond because we’re aware of our blind spots.

2. The experience of “being seen” for who we authentically are is one of the most rewarding experiences we can have as human beings, and Circling teaches us exactly that—how to see and celebrate each person for the unique flavor they bring to the world.

 

Q: Isn’t this basically practicing therapy on each other?

Depends… if paying exquisite attention to what it’s like to be with each other, sharing and exploring any patterns we co-discover in a way that encourages growth towards more of what we want while totally honoring each other exactly as we are…if that quality of relating is ‘therapy’ then yes this is therapy and I encourage everyone to practice therapy with each other!

Joking aside, these basic ingredients of a ‘therapeutic environment’ I believe belong far more fundamental and widespread than the teeny little field of therapy, and most issues people go to therapy for would be handled much more efficiently and effectively in a loving and conscious community of their own.

That said, there are many situations that I have found professional therapy very appropriate for (and that we are in no way qualified to address btw).  For many people who are struggling with basic functionality in their lives, often in fundamentally bio-chemical ways, we often recommend specific schools of psychotherapy and psychiatry and are happy to refer you to our favorites.

Culturally, to the degree that therapy is also about coming to ultimate conclusions about another person, based on pre-determined and well-researched models and maps of human development, our ‘authentic’ quality of relating is very different than therapy.  These more clinical approaches that can serve so well in therapy can actually be quite corrosive in one’s personal relationships, which is why I’m glad this question often comes up.  The more loving and conscious our relating is, the less often therapy will tend to be needed & when it is needed, I agree that it’s best practiced explicitly distinct from our day to day lives together.

 

Q: Where can I experience Circling?

Aletheia »
Our co-ed weekend deep dive into authentic community…

Authentic Man Program »
Our men’s-only intensive…

T3: Train the Trainer »
Our facilitator circling training program…

 

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Authentic Games Everywhere

With Sara Ness and Michael Porcelli

Sara Ness, the creator of Connection Corps in Austin Texas is on a mission to bring Authentic Relating Games as far and wide as possible. From her completion of The Integral Center’s Train-the-Trainer (T3) program in 2013, she has been on a mission developing facilitator trainings for Authentic Relating Games, and fostering the network of Authentic Relating community leaders around the world.

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Circling Europe — with John and Sean

With John Thompson, Sean Wilkinson, and Michael Porcelli

John and Sean share with Porcelli about:

  • When John and Porcelli Circled together at the first Aletheia
  • Their innovative approach to Circling called “All There Is”
  • How they collaborate in an “always circling” relationship
  • Learn about Circling Europe’s 6-month training course
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The Circling Summit and the History of the Integral Center

What is the Circling Summit?

With Robert MacNaughton and Michael Porcelli

Does the Summit sound interesting, but you’re not exactly sure what’s going to be happening there? Listen to Robert and Porcelli give you more detailed information.

Circling at the Integral Center in Boulder

With Robert MacNaughton and Michael Porcelli

Robert MacNaughton, the Executive Director and co-founder of The Integral Center in Boulder, played a key role in bringing Circling and Authentic Relating to Boulder, the creation of the first Aletheia weekend intensive, and the impact of Circling on the wider Integral community. Listen to this interview and hear Porcelli and Robert talk about:

  • Robert’s initial encounter with the Circling practice and how that changed him
  • How the first Aletheia came about
  • Authentic World goes to the Integral Spiritual Experience
  • What makes Circling an Integral practice
  • How Circling and Authentic Relating have impacted the Integral community
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Deepening Relationship with Ourselves, Each Other & Our Planet

Why spend our lives supporting communities to accelerate the evolution of its members?

Circling-at-Shasta-300x200

I figure we’re always growing and evolving anyway, whether we intend to or not, and when we backslide even our darkest moments will ultimately serve our deepest realizations, in this lifetime or another.

To intentionally accelerate this process of evolving towards ever-increasingly happy and loving persons…the only reason to go out of my way to do that is that…

  • The survival of our species and many, many others likely depends upon it.
  • The facilitation of our evolution can be enjoyable for it’s own sake (i.e. a uniquely exhilarating ride, satisfaction guaranteed… eventually).
  • The impulse to evolve is so intrinsic to us that we ultimately can’t help ourselves (the eternal impulse that ushered in the capacity to destroy our own home is the same impulse that urges us to now protect and restore it).

So the next leg of your journey might be most enriched by withdrawing from interpersonal dealings altogether as you delve into your individual process, and hats off to my modern-day-monk buddies who own nothing and will give up anything to deepen their love for this world and everything in it. But many of you will find that real, raw, uncut and in-the-moment relating is exactly what the doctor ordered.

If you feel a bit stuck, or are feeling restless and ready for the next chapter of ‘you’, and you have a hunch that profound community is the crucible you’re looking for, glad you’ve found us.

We eat, breath, sleep relationship as spiritual practice.

Decker_Trent03We see the waves of evolution throughout society and history coming in cycles, and this wave towards embodiment and connection is…Due. Putting less emphasis on insightful abstraction as we move towards intimate and raw connection with our lives and our environment…this movement is only one side of the evolutionary coin and it’s not the wave that got the first man on the moon, but for now it is the wave that’ll inspire us to leave this planet more inhabitable for my son.

Astonished at & Grateful for this Life,

Decker Cunov & the Integral Center Team

Our Biases:

* Self-Awareness: It is “better” to be aware than unaware of my own experience.
* Self-Acceptance: It is “better” to fully feel and express rather than repress or deny my own experience.
* Self-Determination: It is “better” to create my values, rather than take on the assumptions/judgements of others, inspired by my own experience.
* Self-Love: It is “better” to play this game as right with ourselves as we can possibly be (even as we are also a masterpiece in progress).
* Self-Transcendence: It is “better” to play this game in constant discovery of ourselves, rather than filtering/rehearsing, as a moment-by-moment dance.

Our Promises:

* Keepin’ it Real: 0% tolerance for unexamined ‘woo woo’ – Unless it Works.
* Keepin’ it Integral: All distinctions grounded in highest-level transcendent frameworks we’ve found anywhere, while maintaining down-to-earth results-oriented attitude.
* Keepin’ it Legit: Our marketing will always be an exploration of how to motivate positive change by Saying what we Actually Mean & Actually Delivering what we Offer (even if it costs us sales).
* Keepin’ it Humble: Our cultish’ness stays in check to the degree that we own our opinions as Our Opinions and insist that your opinions remain Your Opinions.
* Keepin’ it Authentic: Finally, no pomp to ‘establish legitimacy’: our credentials are based on one thing – the Value You Receive.

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A Pre-History of Arete with Guy & Porcelli

Hear Porcelli continue his investigative interviews on the history and roots of Circling with Guy Sengstock of The Circling Institute, as Guy recounts his contribution, with Jerry Candelaria, to what came to formally be known as Circling, and eventually the first weekend intensive course based on Circling, called The Arête Experience. Guy tells about his early development, his naturally curious personality, through to their meeting at Sterling Men’s Division.

Learn of several tributaries and influences on Circling practice from 12-step culture, Holotropic Breathwork, The Landmark Forum, and The Welcomed Consensus (and more) leading to an unforgettable milestone in Circling at Burning Man. In this conversation, Porcelli & Guy trace the development of Circling connecting it to a larger ongoing human conversation about what’s meaningful, truthful, spiritual, or of ultimate concern.


As Guy recounts early proto-Circling conversations, he describes some hallmarks that naturally started emerging

  • Awareness moving to what’s actually going on in the relationships in the present
  • Attention naturally settling on an individual
  • Someone’s unique essence showing up, and “The Look” that comes with it

Listening for these, and other, fine moments in this rich and in-depth conversation

  • A moment where Porcelli gets crazed
  • Find out about the Beavis & Butthead of the transformation world
  • A possible moment when the term “Circling” came to be the name of our practice
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Circling Summit Partner Announcement—The Circling Institute

Circling Institute

We at The Integral Center are proud to announce our partnership with The Circling Institute for the Circling Summit. Guy Sengstock and Alexis Shepperd are long time practitioners and trainers in Circling and offer weekend workshops, individual coaching, and advanced trainings. Together, Guy & Alexis led courses at The Arête Center for Excellence and created and taught the Transformational Coaching and Leadership Training (TCLT), a year-long circling and coaching training program. Currently, they are the founders of the Circling Institute, LLC, and have been training people in the art of circling since 2001. They are Burners (as in Burning Man), consciousness geeks, and long-time friends. Check out The Circling Institute here!

If you’re still on the fence about coming to the Summit , have a listen to the recording below and get your ticket soon because we are SOLD OUT of our first-tier pricing, and expect the second tier to sell out soon.

If you’d like to make your own contribution to the Circling Summit, please review our Request for Proposal (RFP) here. We are extending the deadline for submissions to the end of July!

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Erin’s Mix

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/19224506/_Erin’s%20Mix_-%20Tnure%20(Ishe)%20Live%20at%20Pink%20Mammoth%2BFucking%20Unicorns%20%40%20Apogaea%202014.mp3

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An Aletheia Moment ~ Damien Bohler

JoyThere are those moments in life where, for some reason, the veils get drawn back a little and we are thrust into a deeper experience. Perhaps we are struck by seeing more of ourselves, perhaps we get a glimpse of some aspect of another person, or we see some subtle facet of reality itself. Often times we may have intuited these things and when the insight comes it’s almost like a slap on the forehead. Of course we may say, it makes so much more sense now. Once we see these things, the world seems to expand and change and with right kind of nurturing we grow to fill this new space.

In a practice called circling these moments are fondly called Aletheia moments.

The word Aletheia is a greek word and means “the state of not being hidden; the state of being evident”. It is used to represent a disclosure or truth, that something in the background is brought into awareness.

We are incredibly complex creatures, so complex that there are many things about ourselves that we do not know or see. One of the purposes of life, for those of us with a spiritual disposition, is to discover who and what we truly are. This process seems to be facilitated by consistent work to reveal more of ourselves, to become more conscious of our inner workings and to see our own inner matrix as well as that of the reality we inhabit.

An ancient Hindu proverb states that the three greatest mysteries are “a fish unto water, a bird unto the air and a man unto himself”. This proverb states that as humans our own selves are a mystery, that in fact the way we are is so often unconscious to ourselves that it is much like water is to a fish. We are in it all the time yet never really see it for what it is.

Through many great and ancient traditions we have been handed down a variety of tools for this personal unveiling. Practices like meditation, yoga and chi kung have become widespread and accessible to all as a way of working with the personal, subjective experience. Through these practices we are presented with the opportunity for seeing more of ourselves from the inside and some form or another is highly recommended for anyone seeking to become an increasingly ‘better’ and conscious version of themselves in this life.

664774_4929008424174_1768682895_oFrom an Integral lens, however, this domain is only one facet of working with the subjective experience. These practices are about turning inwards and deepening relationship with ourselves yet we do not live in isolation and for most of us retreating to a cave or monastery to live out our lives is not a feasible option. We live in relationship with others almost all the time. Interactions with friends, family, partners and lovers, colleagues and our general community are usually part of our daily experience. Acknowledging the inevitable relationship with others there is an opportunity to practice here, with others, in relationship as a form of increasing awareness. To create deeper connections and intimacy with those in our lives and to have these connections add more to both us and them. Like the fish swimming in the water, it can’t see the medium it is moving through… yet the bird, from an outside perspective, can. It is this way with others in our lives. Many of the people closest to us can see, or with the right circumstances can begin to see, aspects of ourselves that we may not be fully aware of. When we are with them we are impacting them constantly in subtle ways, as they are to us. This is where the practice of circling comes in.

Circling can be considered as an intersubjective meditation. This means that it is not just ourselves turning into the experience, rather we are entering it through interaction. The invitation is to become more fully present, here now IN our relationship with another. Through putting our attention on the relationship as it is occurring in the moment a possibility arises to see more of ourselves, more of an other and more the space or reality that we all inhabit. Our differences and similarities are drawn out and celebrated, we become increasingly present to our shared humanity.

297178_2352529333807_1267378766_32933725_2790341_nAletheia as a weekend intensive is a deep dive into this shared space between us. Through circle after circle we are revealing and revealed. The experience of several people sitting with us, wanting to know us, allowing us to show up as we are whatever that is can be exhilarating and opening. From a participant’s perspective having an experience like this changes us in beautiful ways. Most of all we may realize that we are truly not alone.

Anything more about the weekend has to be experienced first-hand to truly know what a gift it is to enter relationship as a practice for growth and awakening.

Learn more about the Aletheia ~ Integral Relating Intensive here.

Damien BohlerAbout Damien Bohler
Damien Bohler is a nomadic soul sometimes confused and other times delighted by his existence on this strange and wonderful planet. He enjoys writing, climbing trees and being barefoot. You can read more of his stuff on his blog.

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The What & Why of Circling

We know the power of gaining new perspective on ourselves and our lives, and how circling can so powerfully deliver this experience. Listen to this recording between Decker Cunov and Michael Porcelli where they unpack how rare the kinds of experiences are that happen in circling, even though they seem so fundamentally simple.

Download Recording

The Inaugural International Circling Conference and Gathering,
The Circling Summit, is now open for registration and proposals.

From the earliest formal coursework in Circling with the Arete Experience in the San Francisco Bay Area in 1999 to the Men’s Circle on the beach, The Authentic Man Program, The Authentic Woman Experience, and Aletheia at The Integral Center in 2011, the community of Circling, Authentic Relating, and Authentic Relating Games has grown worldwide with events as far and wide as New York, D.C., Malibu, Oslo, Phenom Penh, Phoenix, Toronto, Austin, Portland, LA, and more. 2014 to date has seen more Circling-based deep-dive weekend experiential intensives worldwide than there have been weekends! We stand together near the beginning of a worldwide flourishing of our community of practice. Please join us at The Integral Center for the first gathering of these tribes at the first ever global Circling Summit, September 4-7th, 2014, Boulder Colorado.

To Co-Create This Event We Want Your Help! What should we do?

We’re in the process of curating the schedule format with presentations, workshops, panel discussions, play opportunities, and of course loads of circling with your global family! Do you want to lead one of these? If so, please see our Request for Proposals outline and submit your ideas ASAP!
Proposals for segments must be received by June 30th, 2014.

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Relationship as a Path

How do your relationships compare to your other practices?
What’s possible when we welcome the challenges that arise in our partnership as opportunities for growth?

In this conversation with Jayson Gaddis, we discuss the ways in which we can treat our relationships similarly to how we hold our personal development and spiritual practices. Since our relationships are so much a part of our daily life (what else is there?), the more we give attention to them, the more we can grow, find peace, and be of greater service to the world.

If you enjoy this recording, I recommend you check-out the video of Jayson’s recent presentation at the Integral Center here.

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The Power of Practice

I recently had a great conversation about practice with my friend and Integral mentor, Terry Patten. Terry was part of the core team at the Integral Institute that developed Integral Life Practice, which distills ancient and modern practices into an intelligent contemporary transformational lifestyle. He co-authored a book on the subject as well as leading week-long ILP workshops for years. In this conversation Terry and I discuss what practice is, how we can develop a lifestyle of practice, and the power of choosing to enact our practice even in simple conversations–as Terry demonstrates on the call. We then discuss the challenges and rewards of developing a community committed to practice and how important that is these days.
Terry will also be joining us for our New Years gathering, Scenius (think Scene plus Genius), and if you want to learn more about Terry’s work, I highly recommend hearing his recording on the 5 Spiritual Myths that Sabotage Your Conscious Evolution.

Terry Patten
Download Recording

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You Are Not Alone

A Truly Integral Space for a Community that Keeps Waking-Up and Growing-Up in Service of a Better World

Our community was started by people who care deeply about connection and relationship–as a path to better lives, and ultimately to inspiring a healthier world. It’s a radically simple view: more loving people create more loving families and neighbors, which creates more loving communities, more loving cities, and ultimately a more loving world. It may sound simple, but like most essential truths it’s not as easy as it sounds and relationship is the place where our least loving and aware tendencies get highlighted *fast*.

Why We Need Your Help

We were one and a half years into our lease when we got hit hard by the epic Colorado floods in September. The pipes in our building backed up and filled our first level (7000 square feet, half of our entire space) with toxic water and sewage. The water destroyed all the flooring, carpeting, furnishings, plumbing, boiler and other property on that level. To make things more complicated, our insurance policies denied us without even looking and forced us into a back and forth battle with no end in sight.

Become an Integral Center Angel by contributing to our flood rebuild campaign.
Click here to see our new video:
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Celebrate the New Year with iCommunity

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 4 Days of Integral Practice & Play

The Integral Center presents:
Scenius ~ The More Integral the Community…
the More Genius for the World

Join us in Integral Practice & Play for four days in the Rockies, in the company of an international blend of do-gooders, intimacy geeks, Integral nerds, a few Burning Man gypsies & all manner of community leaders!

Conscious Community =
1. The Most Potent Catalyst for Evolution OR
2. A Hugely Expensive/Distracting Drama Fest
…It all depends on how fiercely we hold Integral standards and practice them together.

We’re proud of our center in Boulder transmitting the Integral Meme to broader and broader audiences, and though we took a *major* hit this Fall as a flood destroyed half of our building and supplies, our community is emerging stronger than ever.

If you spend the New Years with us, you’ll be exploring Integral approaches to:

    • Balancing Being & Becoming, Autonomy & Communion
    • Metabolizing Conflicts into Opportunities
    • Power & Exclusivity (Integral Cliches)
    • Sexuality & Romantic Relationships
    • Generational Richness – Parenting, Eldership & Rites of Passage
    • Blending virtues of discipline & loyalty with enjoying our lives together
    • Walking a path of the ancestors while being uniquely yourself 

*Brian Eno coined the word “Scenius” to capture an extreme creativity that groups, places, or ‘scenes’ can sometimes manifest. In places like Boulder, the Integral scenius continues to develop…and it’s time again to gather the tribes.

Throughout history, small groups brought together for a common purpose generate a collective magic inclusive of each individual’s contribution, yet far greater than the sum of individual contributions they possibly could’ve created: Building 20 at MIT, Camp 4 at Yosemite, the Inklings at Oxford, Burning Man. Ken Wilber reminds us of the significant role that Salons in Europe played in the emergence of the Western enlightenment. Today intentional communities worldwide come together around spiritual, social or ecological values.

Perhaps you consider yourself part of an emerging Integral Scenius. Perhaps you’re simply passionate about fostering more loving and real community on our planet. In either case, please get yourself to the Integral Center in Boulder for this New Year’s 2014.

    • Experience our favorite interpersonal practices for fostering deep in-the-moment authenticity

    • Meet fellow integral practitioners, facilitators, and community builders from around the world

    • Harness the power of the collective through a guided series of experiences together

    • Celebrate another year of kosmic evolution

Your Hosts:

tdecker2           JeffSalzman-321

Decker Cunov, Co-Founder of The Integral Center
Diane Hamilton Musho Sensei, Two Arrows Zen
Jeff Salzman, host of the Daily Evolver, and general integral-man-about-Boulder

 

SCHEDULE DETAILS ARE HERE!

We will be kicking this off at 3pm, December 28th, 2013. You’re welcome to arrive as early as 2pm for registration. The evening meal break will be from 6-7:30pm. We will be completing at approximately 9:30pm that evening.

For the full-day sessions, Sunday the 29th through Tuesday the 31st, we will have morning practice sessions from 7:30-9am. We will have a breakfast hour from 9-10am with some simple food options available, including coffee and tea. (We recommend you handle your own special dietary requirements if any.) The mid-day meal break will be approximately 1:30-3pm and the evening meal break approximately 6-7:30pm. Each evening, except the 31st, will conclude at approximately 9:30pm.

On the night of the 31st you are welcome to bring 2 personal guests with you to the evening session for $15 each. This New Year’s Eve event will not be open to the general public.
You’re welcome to join us for some informal New Year’s Day relaxation and conclusion together from 11am-1pm, January 1st 2014.

Price:
Seats 1 – 20: $345 SOLD OUT!!!
Seats 21 – 40: $395
(Payments plans available)

Register

 

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